Dear Colonel Sanders.
I would like to complain about being ejected from your Blackwood Branch of KFC in Wales, the United Kingdom this past Saturday.
My crime was licking the fingers of another patron, and for this I was thrown out of the branch and made to feel like a pervert.
In my defense, I thought that my fellow patron, whose name I do not know, knew what I was intending as for the entire duration of her meal she did not wipe or clean her hands in any way whatsoever. Now what with your logo being “Finger Licking Good,” I saw her fingers as fair game and proceeded to lick the delicious chicken juice from her digits much to her apparent surprise.
I feel that had I known that “Finger Licking Good” relates only to your own fingers, I would not have made such a terrible assumption.
I would like to see the phrase “Finger Licking Good” completely removed from all your merchandise and advertising so that nobody suffers the indignity that I suffered due to what was basically an innocent misunderstanding.
Yours Faithfully
Dean Griffiths.
technomist
Sorry to have to let yo down, but the Colonel is dead. He died of pneumonia, which seems to be one of those celebrity deaths of choice in America.
My advice is not to lick the fingers of strange people in fast food restaurants, enticing as this may be, as people generally don't wash their hands before tucking in. You don't know where they have been.